Giving Myself a Nap

Lately I’ve been trying to pull a tarot card every day as my kind of morning mind chill and daily practice. I think about how it can guide me that day, where I may see it show up, and I journal about it.  Here’s me being completely honest…

…sometimes it doesn’t seem to mean shit.

Today I got the Six of Pentacles. Pentacles have been showing up a ton for me lately, which makes a lot of sense. Often the representative of money and business matters, they definitely mirror the throes of refreshing my biz visions and offerings that I’m currently in! This particular card is all about generosity; on cards of a more conventional deck, you’ll see a dude giving out some coins to some needy kids.

I sighed. Sure, I’ve been giving away wayyyy too much money to my crystal dealer lately…not meth, but beautiful rocks and stones that make me ridiculously happy to look at. But let’s be honest here…right now I’m trying to figure out how to take IN money instead of give it away.

Of course being generous isn’t only about giving money or material goods.

OK, I think, so…give of myself. How can I give of myself today? As a mom, wife and woman, am I not giving of myself every damn day??? How is this day so special?? Plus my allergies are raging, so all I want to give is a good nap. To myself. At 10:00 am.

As I tell others to do when journaling or free writing, I forced myself to keep going even though I didn’t feel like I had much to say. I wrote about the pretty butterflies on the card, and how they give back to us with their beauty, and how watching them as they flitter by gives us a sense of calm and peace.

They are also generous in that they pollinate, which is literally life-giving. They do this effortlessly, probably without even thinking about it–and it makes such an impact on pretty much the whole damn world.

Well, if a tiny little butterfly can be life-giving by doing something so seemingly simple–with its feet, no less– can’t we?

How about the precious gift of giving someone your precious time? Or the the simple act of giving someone a smile? A compliment? The fucking truth about something? These things are no less valuable because, although simple, they leave lasting value.

By your small act of kindness you can quite possibly change someone’s entire outlook, give them hope, and make them feel special. Maybe you even inspire them to give– however they can, however they are able.

And that’s what I have for you today. What I got from my card was being more mindful about giving–what it really means, and the impact it really has. Not exactly a life-shattering ah-ha moment, and not exactly a life-shattering blog post for you.  Sometimes we give all that we can give, on any certain day. But we keep going, pushing through, showing up. And at least it doesn’t involve putting my feet on you.

So keep giving, even if it’s in the smallest of ways. Even if it’s just to flit around and hopefully make someone smile. And now I’m going to gift my pillow the weight of my head.

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